Saturday, June 16, 2007

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

From off the net from many yarrons ago. These are roughly 30 different ways to get a philosophical handle on the idea that religious crap happens too.

Taoism Crap happens.
Confucianism Confucious say, "Crap Happens".
Calvinism This crap is pre-ordained.
Buddhism If crap happens, it really isn't crap.
Jehovah's Witness Crap happens because you don't work hard enough.
Seventh Day Adventist No crap on Saturdays.
Zen What is the sound of crap happening?
Hedonism There's nothing like a good crap happening.
Hinduism This crap happened before.
Mormonism This crap will help me grow.
Islam If crap happens, it is the will of Allah.
Moonies Only happy crap really happens.
Stoicism This crap is good for me.
Protestantism We don't take no crap from the Pope.
Catholicism Crap happens because you are BAD.
Hare Krishna Crap happens Rama Rama.
Judaism Why does this crap always happen to US?
Zoroastrianism Crap happens half the time.
Christian Science Crap is all in your mind.
Quaker We will continue calmly in spite of this crap.
Environmentalism Recycle this crap.
Existentialism What is crap anyway?
Baha'i Crap happens, but let's not fight about it.
Unitarianism We're all partly responsible for everyone's crap.
Unity We're all in this crap together.
Native American Crapping is part of living. Get used to it.
Scientology We'll get rid of your crap for just $7,899.
Est If you haven't "got it," you haven't got crap.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this crap.
Remnant Fellowship/Weigh Down Workshop Don't eat one bite of crap past full or you'll go to hell

Just to let you know we do have a sense of humor and hope we offend all equally .. in love of course ..