You know it's hard being a false prophet nowadays. No, really, even though you sleep in great beds, command doting and mindless obedience of your own personal culture centered around what matters to you, have oodles of cash and can control people absolutely down to how many of them will have sex with you or how loud they will shout when you show up for the mandatory mass meetings they and your band of disciples will gleefully attend.
Not all that glitters is gold, however ..
Beyond all of those temporal joys, it's just a never ending drip-drip-drip of all of that pressure of indoctrinating and controlling your inner circle, dealing with the heathen outside your power who haven't been wiped out by the God you say you exclusively represent, thinking up new ways to speak for the Almighty using the same old dribble you say was His Word, paying high power lawyers to keep your critics at bay, and all of that micromanagement of your followers' lives .. basta!
To be perfectly honest, I'm not aware of any insurance companies that provide coverage to the mystics, avatars and pillars of spiritual power who just so happen to be also degenerate apostate wolves in sheep's clothing. I don't know how you'd even underwrite something like that, but many of the same characters could certainly afford whatever premiums a company could demand for them. Can you imagine being a customer service representative for a company devoted to that kind of work? I wonder how Flo or Erin might do talking to Gwen Shamblin about the claims she might want to make about the nasty turns of events she's had to face the past several years. Boy, it would be great to hear the recording of THAT kind of conversation .. for quality control purposes, of course, you understand. I wonder what kind of things her adjusters would have to do .. oy ve.
Things ultimately don't go the way false prophets like .. even after all of their demagoguery, they will Face The Music sooner or later. Lately, it's been Sooner ..
Warren Jeffs, the FLDS "prophet" and Mormon polygamous sexual deviant isn't doing too well as he serves hard time in a Big House for his Big Love. Nor is Harold Camping, the radio broadcaster who has prophesied the end of the world twice and now is awaiting his third prophecy of The End in a nursing home after a stroke. The annoying and troublesome impact of mortality caught up with New Age mystic Elizabeth Clare Prophet finally just a few years ago. And little god Paula White's ongoing "new season" as she steps into her Destiny involves even more lawyers.
It's not easy being a tool of Satan, I guess. But the fringe benefits in this world do a soul a lot of good, don't they?
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